{"id":500,"date":"2015-02-05T02:04:56","date_gmt":"2015-02-05T02:04:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/littlemisslesbo.com\/?p=500"},"modified":"2015-02-11T22:51:32","modified_gmt":"2015-02-11T22:51:32","slug":"getting-grown-the-year-of-better-not-so-dirty-30","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/littlemisslesbo.com\/?p=500","title":{"rendered":"Getting Grown-THE YEAR OF BETTER (not so dirty 30)"},"content":{"rendered":"

I operate on the \u201cyear of EeJay\u201d one that begins on April 1st (my birthday- save the jokes-please) and ends March 31st (my birthday eve). Now, don\u2019t get me wrong\u2026 I still honor the year as its been laid out, but I see my date of birth as my new year- after all its keeping track of my years\u2026 right?! My (uggggghh) 30th birthday (I can\u2019t believe it\u2019s here already) is quickly approaching and of course I\u2019ve got plenty of goals, resolutions and what not. So after chatting with My ex Little Miss Crazytown and she told me \u201cdamn, you really out here growin\u2019 up!\u201d I realized that the change in me is becoming evident to others and I want it to not only be undeniable, I\u2019d also like it to be like a renovation. I didn\u2019t take offense to her comment because growing up has NOTHING to do with age, it in my opinion has EVERYTHING to do with learning. I don\u2019t expect 30 to be the year of perfection, however, I do expect it to be the year of better.<\/p>\n

By better I mean:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Better interactions with the world:<\/strong> build and maintain meaningful relationships with people and not be such a loner but make sure I\u2019m not out there wasting valuable time on fuck-shit<\/p>\n

Love Better:<\/strong> let\u2019s face it; I\u2019ve been in and out of relationships most of my adult life. When infidelity wasn\u2019t the reason for the relationship dying they failed because I wasn\u2019t totally and utterly in love with myself. Now that I love THE FUCK outta me (flaws and all) I believe I\u2019m better suited to love someone else.<\/p>\n

Better Travel:<\/strong> I enjoy getting away as much as the next, however, I don\u2019t as much as I deserve to. For whatever reason be it finances, organization, work, pets to name a few I just don\u2019t get or take much time to let my hair down. In the \u201cYear of Better\u201d I will vacate from Atlanta,Ga at least four times to four different locations (needed to say that). I think that\u2019s a fair amount especially seeing as though I have a cute \u201cgirl\u2019s trip\u201d with my Mom and Auntie to Honolulu in May. I also have a wedding in DC (heyyyy Kat) that I\u2019m in in on Labor Day . I\u2019m actually looking forward to all the festivities being that my last trip to the DMV Area was such a shit show, not to mention I will be celebrating two of my favorite girls tying the knot.<\/p>\n

Look and Feel Better:<\/strong> Somewhere between the last couple of years I found time to gain a shit-ton of weight I\u2019ve lost 15 pounds of it and have quite a journey to go. But with my trainer, gym, bike, and healthy eating \u2013 it will happen soon enough. Plus I gotta look good in Hawaii!- Don\u2019t get it twisted I love myself now however I miss my “sexy body”!<\/p>\n

Live better:<\/strong> with this I mean all around just be a more productive person. I\u2019m scattered brained and anxious it shows in my living I hardly ever finish a project or put things back in their home (if I ever gave them a home) I have to find a way to conquer this I think it\u2019s through developing the spirit of a finisher. I need to cut down on excuses and procrastination if I\u2019m ever going to live up to my potential I mean it was okay (I guess) to be in my 20s putting shit off till later\u2026 but seriously I gotta get it and keep it together.<\/p>\n

Cope Better:<\/strong> I\u2019d love to be depression AND medication free for 30 but I understand that is a huge goal. I need to get ahead of my depression acknowledge when its starting and be proactive about it, take meds when needed and deal with my shit as it comes\u2026 IGNORING IT WONT MAKE IT BETTER.<\/p>\n

Forgive Better:<\/strong> I can hold a grudge like no other and it\u2019s more punishing to me than it is to the person I\u2019m upset with. I\u2019ve realized when I hold a grudge I\u2019m holding on to the transgressors shit\u2026 AND THAT\u2019S CRAZY! I refuse to allow someone to store their bullshit with me and I pay the fucking rent\u2026. What kind of sense does that make?! So Little Miss Dream Seller although I think you\u2019re low down as fuck\u2026 I forgive your ass, you musty bitch. Little Miss Better Late than never\u2026 shit wasn\u2019t REALLY your fault, you handled it in a way that was right for YOU -I forgive you. Little Miss Crazytown- honestly- shit just got outta hand, FORGIVEN.I don\u2019t know if y\u2019all even care\u2026Hell, I\u2019m not sure I care that if y\u2019all care or not. This forgiveness is for Me and my growth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And MY LAST WRITTEN GOAL OF THE YEAR OF BETTER- PUBLISH A COOKBOOK!-I\u2019m mean in the kitchen- I SHOULD DO THIS before my half birthday (OCTOBER 1st)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying I will be done after all that\u2019s achieved but I think I will be well on my way!
\nTill next time-
\nEejay
\nFeelings are best expressed through song- \u201cGetting Grown\u201d Cee-Lo Green (when he was still the SOUL MACHINE)
\nRelatable quote<\/strong>
\nI never won’t be perfect I know
\nBut workin on it is worse than I know
\nLife is just learning as you go<\/p><\/blockquote>\n