That One Time I tried Polyamory

So, yall….

I’ve been missing for a while. Whats new… right? I wish I had a reason I could blame my absenteeism on or something in particular. But, honestly ya girl has been working sickening gigs in tech making decent money (praise God) and hosting brunches on the terrace for my quaint friend group!

I was dating for a spell; buckle up because I have a diversity and inclusion filled title to give y’all about baby boi (yes, boi)! He was a Gender Non-Conforming Bi-Sexual Non-Monogamous Trans Masculine Human. Boy, was our interaction a trip… It was fun because he (he is okay with he/them/they) is wildly genius. He could teach me things I never knew I wanted to know.

Our first date was painfully awkward… I hated his shoes (small footnote) but if you’re masculine presenting (top surgery done and a beard) I think ladies Timberland boots look silly paired with dad jeans! I digress, He is fine as fuck…. Like big fine! I was nervous AF, I smoked and had like 15mgs of gummy edibles. I was higher than giraffe dicks and as a result i was super goofy and all over the place, yes, even more than I ordinarily would be! We didn’t really talk for a few weeks – he hit me up outta the blue I wasn’t doing shit so… why not? I sent him the pictures I’d taken of him (oh yea, I’m dabbling a bit in photography) and we essentially were boo’d up after that. I liked that he would let me dress him, even with pattern mixing! Theres something incredibly beautiful about dressing someone you care for.

Anyway, seeing as though he was fully honest about who he was (and wasn’t) and I enjoyed his company I thought I should prepare myself for dating someone who was Poly being that I’m very monogamous. I literally listened to HOURS of podcast and YouTube Videos on how to accept a poly lover when that is outside of your mode of operation. I was trying to leave room for his lifestyle while still respecting my own boundaries.

CAN YOU BELIEVE this nigga said I was trying to (and I quote) “have autonomy over his body” because I asked him practice safe sex while out there doing him if he would like to fuck on me?! Can you believe the audacity?! MY GUYYYY you are admittedly allowing men (preferably gay) to “tear your pussy up” (his words not mine) Now, if I cant require that you do that safely isn’t HE THE ONE TRYING TO HAVE AUTONOMY OVER MY BODY, AND SEXUAL HEALTH?! FUCK OUTTA HERE FUCK NIGGA.

No Ma’am!