Little Miss Sunshine

I had to wait a while to write this one y’all…. I don’t even know where to start.I met this woman in the midst of early covid shut down. I mean so early in the shut down that people with sense weren’t really meeting up with strangers…. Well I wasn’t! Little Miss Sunshine was cool, we’d get on FaceTime and smoke and drink have us a grand ole time. We talked for like month and a half and a half before she got weird on me and was like “I can’t talk to you anymore”. Now, y’all know I’m real Fantasia to the bullshit so I allowed little Mama the space to “free herself. I would wonder about her from time to time but I unfriended her on socials and went on about my life. Sure, I’d notice that she’d like my IG post from time to time but never read too much into it because… social media.

Fast forward like 3.5 years and I get a friend request from guess who… JUST GUESS! I swiftly approve her request because I just wanted to know how she was doing and I mean she was a cool lil buddy. She divulged to me that her “just a friend” from her master’s program evolved into a three year relationship that had sadly recently ended. DING DONG! Miss girl couldn’t talk to me anymore because she was developing feelings for her friend. A fact she denies to this day; but I be knowing.

   We had fun we just kicked it a lot, I helped her look for a new place because she had to vacate her previous living arrangement due to her recent break-up. I call her Sunshine because her despite her having sadness in her eyes it was like she brought sunshine into my life through her laid back demeanor and low-key lifestyle. Shit was fun with her. Again, Y’all know me… I got too involved; our Dogs had playdates, I was cooking for her,I consoled her on tough days no matter the the issue (even if it was her ex). I was far more understanding than I should have been; but I was familiar with how she was feeling and I knew when I was going through I wish I had a Down Ass Bitch in my corner. I didn’t choose DAB life it chose me… I could never be a JAB.

  Things were going well, I was learning about sports from her, Hamlet finally had a dog friend she was a refreshing change from last summers fuckery… or so I thought. She called me on FaceTime red faced and crying about the friend turned lover turned ex talking about “I miss my relationship” Now, because I still consider this woman a friend I will not spill her tea. But missing Hamburger Helper while eating a bone-in rib eye is WILD TO ME! But again I’m Fantasia to the bullshit… You don’t want me? Then don’t talk to me!

    I played like I was cool but my feelings were hurt… Like real bad, I know I’d sworn off the ladies many times before but I hadn’t had my feeling hurt like this in a long while. Like the ex isn’t a nice person, she’s unfaithful and a liar, she’s not better looking than me and let Little Miss Sunshine tell it she couldn’t cook or fuck like me…. So what was it? Instead of wondering what it was I just powered through life majorly depressed and frankly on some “fuck a bitch shit” word to B.I.G. 

Enter Little Miss Zodiac 

Sunshine if you read this I pray your mind is open enough to receive what I’ve shared here-there was never really a convenient time for me to share this with you maybe this song will help.

My feelings are best expressed through song