Soooo I have this habit of asking women who are on my line “what is your intention?” It helps to clear any confusion. I mean I don’t ask EVERY person this but once things start to feel a little flirty or sweet it’s in my best interest to figure out whats tea. Theres been several times in my life where I didn’t get any clarification when in hindsight it would’ve been more than beneficial. In full alignment with the “a hard head makes a soft ass” doctrine and trying to avoid the personal atomic bomb of heart ache/break I’m asking niggas “What do you want with me”
Of course I know people can lie and tell me what they think I want to hear… but I can hold them accountable for what they said. I’m in a space where I’m OPEN to love… I’m not looking for it- by any means. I’m not even sure how much longer I can stomach being in a place where the Black Woman isn’t valued or appreciated (the Bay Area). I’m just getting my bearings on this happiness thing… well not being in a prolonged state of depression at least. With that said I’m real enough to be honest with myself about my preparedness to try dating and that space would be a fragile one. Knowing the space is fragile I know I can’t just let any ol reckless spirit into my china shop… okay?!
Me being me and having a magnetic personality (ughhh) people are drawn to me but not the work it may take. While I’ve freed myself from the baggage of my past, I’m NO dummy and “I ain’t tryna be the same fool twice”. I understand my attitude can be a lot for some people and I may be considered flirtatious to someone who doesn’t value eye contact and warmness while communicating. Knowing the aforementioned about myself I understand that this “aint for everybody” and try my best to operate in full transparency
I’ve done the work… alone. I am MY OWN PEACE! I am, however, not going to allow someone who isn’t aware of their own lack of peace and intention to disturb mine. Furthermore… just imagine how dope the world could be if people just committed to making sure they left places (be they people, times or literal spaces) making sure said space wasn’t ruined when they left. I think it’s incredibly selfish to expect other people to “fix” us but what if people just committed themselves to not making a shit show of things?
My feelings aren’t best expressed through song…. however it works.