The dangers of e-crushing

We all have fallen victim to crushing: be it a short lived crush or one that lasts years; its human nature really. You see someone you find visually appealing and then you become infatuated with them. Its all cute and fun until you get the opportunity to meet said crush. Often times while crushing on someone we make up a whole identity for the person, one we’ve built on little trivial personality clues we pick up on or heaven forbid shit we’ve read on twitter or saw on The Gram. That’s where shit gets precarious… IN MY OPINION dating someone who has crushed on you for a while is both glorious and dangerous. The glory is in the excitement one feels when they finally get someone they’ve wanted for so long…. The danger comes when reality sets in- “this bitch ain’t at all who I thought she was”. I almost wrote on this topic when I came back from D.C. after the whole DC debacle (Miss Me With That post) Then after my most recent “love” affair (my quotes are placed correctly btw) Little Miss Dream Seller I realized it is indeed quite risky for ME to date a woman who has had a crush on me for a while.

I have been told that I am the same person on the internet and in person by people who know me quite well- strangely women who have become “acquainted” with me or shall we say watched in the valances of World Wide Web viewing through rose-colored glasses selectively seeing my good without my bad. Perhaps they saw the bad and down played it to make shit cute for themselves. I can be a raging bitch at times who is stuck in her ways and suffers from anxiety, a broken heart, reasonable insecurities topped with short woman’s complex and a touch of a know-it-all bad ass. That shit ain’t for everybody… honestly it seems like it could be for nobody (insert nervous giggle). When shit got real both those flaky bitches got ghost. I unsuccessfully tried to cash their sorry ass “I love you” checks and they were as rubber as fuck. I realized it wasn’t the REAL me either of them craved or loved it was the persona each of them had given me. Both of them dropped the “L-bomb” on your girl rather quickly but far be it from me put someone else’s love on a time restraint… as the old adage goes “if you knew better, you’d do better”. I can comfortably say “lesson learned” and I’m ready to do better.

I’m not going to fake like I too haven’t been let down by the persona I’d built for someone I was crushing on. I usually figure out my crushes ain’t the move upon our first interaction. My crushes tend to be beautiful, shallow, well dressed fools. I really only wrote this cause I was listening to Beyoncé Resentment first then Superpower. So of course I’m in my feelings or whatever. From here on out when it comes to cyber crushes I will proceed with caution… if I even try that shit again. I said IF!

Thats it EeJay

I guess this song fits…. its a cute lil throw back