As I See It

Strange(r)

This move has been a culture shock. As much as I adore the diversity and free minds of California sometimes its a lot, sometimes I feel incredibly alienated from reality here. By birth, I’m a California Girl, by choice I’m Southern. I’m open I believe in the “live and let live” train of thought. Maybe I’m not as open-minded as I thought… or maybe.. just maybe I’ve gotta recalibrate cause ya girl is feeling like she’s in the Twilight Zone.

What’s most interesting to me is all the labels people slap on themselves (and sometimes others) here. I’ve legitimately had someone say “Hi my name is *Bernice* I’m polyamorous polysexual Ovo-Lacto pescatarian and I’m gender-nonconforming. What’s up with you?”  All I had was “I go by EeJay I just moved back from Atlanta.” We just stood there awkwardly looking at each other her expression lookin’ like “that’s it?!” mine like “that’s all!” The feeling that I’m ordinary or plain is wildly foreign to me. I’ve always been deemed “too much” too loud, too bossy, too independent, too black, too fat, too proper, too confident you know all that mess. But, I’ve never given a damn… I like me and I’ve always been really into who I am at any given time in my past. I’ve only been to one party here that I didn’t feel like a chocolate-chip in a sea of snickerdoodle dough. I choose snickerdoodle versus sugar cookie because its beige AF here not exclusively white.

When I was the only little black girl in my school (one of 10 or less) that loved Green Day and  The Red Hot Chili Peppers I felt alone but not the need to change. When I wasn’t having fun at the parties in Atlanta I didn’t vow to stay at home I founded my own party (SLAY). I’m not one to cram myself into existing parameters I’m about living my truth and not really caring how people feel about it. Y’all ain’t finna make me feel some sorta way for being southern and polite (something else that’s odd as hell to the locals), and for (as of now) wanting to be in a monogamous relationship one day. I like to eat and am okay not being everyone’s type due to my size (yes I’m fat but I’m still “alladat”). I like me

Honorable mention to the homie Jai Booker for being my wingman in these streets

till next time

EeJay

my feelings expressed through song

 

 

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